5 Habits Quietly Hurting Your Perception At Work (Habit 2 &3)

Last week, I kicked off a series on five habits that quietly kill how you’re perceived at work.

Let’s get into habits #2 and #3: Over-explaining and being the voice of pessimism.

(If you missed last week’s post or are new, you can catch up here.)

Habit #2: Over-Explaining

Have you ever sat through a meeting where someone rambled for so long that you started planning your weekend or opened another tab to research flights to Lisbon?

Same.

And let’s be honest: we’ve all been that person, too.

Over-explaining usually feels helpful. You’re adding detail. Giving context. Making sure everyone understands.

But here’s the paradox: The more you explain, the harder it becomes to understand you.

When you over-explain, you signal:

• Less confidence

• More defensiveness

• Unclear thinking

• And ironically, less credibility

This week, I caught a great conversation between Wes Kao and Lenny Rachitsky on Lenny’s podcast. (It’s a great listen if you have some time)

Wes, who teaches high-stakes communication, talked about why concise doesn’t equal shallow and how brevity builds trust.

Here are a few tactics she shared, plus a few of my own:

How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Know your core point
What’s the actual decision, idea, or goal you’re trying to communicate? You're not ready to share if you can’t summarize it in a sentence.

Prep before walking into a meeting
Before a meeting, ask yourself: What do I want people to do or understand? Work backwards from that.

Let visuals do the heavy lifting
A simple visual (timeline, decision tree, chart) often does more than five paragraphs of talking.

Edit yourself in real-time
Watch for the urge to justify, defend, or pre-answer every question. When in doubt, say less, and stop talking before you talk yourself out of your point.

 Let silence signal confidence
Confident people let silence do the talking. They let their thoughts sit and wait for the room to respond.

Habit #3: Defaulting to Pessimism

I once had a colleague who habitually jumped in with what could go wrong.

New idea? “That’s going to be a compliance issue.” Fresh proposal? “We’ve tried that before.” Strategic shift? “Let’s slow down and flag the risks first.”

Eventually, people just stopped bringing ideas to them.

Not because they were mean. Because they were exhausting.

We’ve all worked with someone like this. And we’ve probably been this person at some point.

What’s the cost of being a pessimist?

• You drain ambition from the room

• You become known as a blocker, not a builder

• You shut down ideas before they’re ready to grow

You might think you’re being thoughtful. But what others hear is fear.

Pessimism isn’t about disagreeing. It’s about making doubt your default. And leaders who default to doubt don’t get handed big opportunities.

The goal isn’t to be blindly positive. It’s to reframe your thinking so you still raise concerns but in a way that moves the conversation forward and builds trust in your judgment.

So how can you shift your language to be perceived as more optimistic than pessimistic, even with concerns?

❌ “That won’t work because….”

✅ “What would be true for this to work?”

❌ “I don’t think this is realistic”

✅ “Where do we need to adjust expectations to make this feasible?”

❌ “I don’t like this approach”

✅ “Can I offer an alternative angle that might help us get there more effectively?”

Final Takeaway

Are you prone to over-explaining or defaulting to pessimism?

If so, let’s flash back to that promotion calibration session from last week.

The one where your name came up and other managers chimed in with:
“They overcomplicate things.”
“They point out what won’t work but rarely offer solutions.”

It may seem small at the moment. But those small habits shape how people talk about you when you’re not in the room.

And it determines whether you get the next big opportunity or get passed over again.

Perception is built through repetition. So is trust. And the good news is you can shift both.

This week’s challenge: Notice when over-explaining or pessimism shows up.
Pause, reframe, and shift your approach. Small changes, done consistently, can change how others experience your leadership.

Next week, we’ll wrap the series with Habits #4 and #5: changing your story based on who’s in the room, and treating meetings like the finish line instead of the starting line

Until Next Time,

Winston

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